Just Friends
by SarahSheperd
Summary: This one takes place after What Have I Done To Deserve This? Merder, slight MarkAddison, AlexIzzie, cute CristinaBurke stuff. Can Meredith and Derek only be Just Friends? Centers around them. Enjoy! Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so in this, it leaves off after What Have I Done To Deserve This? Merder, slight AddisonMark, IzzieAlex, and cute CristinaBurke moments. Meredith and Derek aren't sure if they can be "just friends". Centers around them. Please R&R!**

"Just friends."

"Just friends," repeats Derek. Although the look that is present on both faces says otherwise. This look is one of pain, sadness, repressed passion, and secret, unrequited love.

"You kno..." Meredith begins but is interupted by barking coming from ahead. They round a corner and there is Doc holding a ball in his mouth with a look that you could only smile at, which is what the two doctors did, smile. They decide to not discuss the matter anymore and just enjoy the time they are spending together, as friends, friends that co-own a dog, the dog that is waiting for them to throw his ball and play with him. So they do and that is how they spend the rest of the morning, playing with their dog and laughing and talking. Derek begins to think that maybe, just maybe, they can be friends. He sees Meredith is still talking, but he is not paying attention, he's watching her out of the corner of his eye. He realized just how much he missed this. He is brought out of his reverie with a loud _beep beep beep_ coming from Merediths pocket. He watches as she pulls out her beeper and reads it.

"Sorry, 911 from the hospital. We can continue this tomorrow," she says with a little smile as she turns to walk to her car. She then turns back to Derek, "You're right, I think that we can be friends," and with that, she turns and runs the rest of the way to her car, seeing as how she is already late, she doesnt want to give Bailey anymore reason to kill her than she already possesses. Derek watches her run off and realizes that he could never, truly be her "friend". He hears a car door slam in the distance and sighs. Doc barks and he starts walking again, deep in thought about their newfound friendship.

Meredith pulled up to the hospital. She walks in thinking about what happened earlier. She begins to wonder, again, if this could actually work. She knows that they both WANT it to work, wanting it to work was never the issue. The issue is COULD they make it work. She knew that on her side, she was still very much in love with her new "friend", she was unsure of his feelings however. She knew that whenever she saw him, her thoughts were not those that a friend would have. If only she could know what he was thinking. She looked down at her watch and realized how long it had taken her to get to the lobby of the hospital. "Crap!" she exclaims and runs the rest of the way to the locker room. When she finally makes it, she sees all her friends already there and dressed.

"About time," mumbles Alex, which earned him a hit on the arm from Izzie. Meredith runs to her locker and begins to get changed. When she is done, she slams her locker shut and is surprised to see Cristina standing there. "Where were you?"

"I was uh at the store, we were out of tampons and you know uh how George gets so...yeah...and then there was a line to check out...and traffic..." she sees the way Cristina is looking at her. "What?"

"Mer, I've known you for what, about a year now right? See, when you spend as much time together as we do, you sort of learn stuff about each other, what their facial expressions mean, hidden meaning behind the ever popular 'I'm fine', and when they are trying to cover up where they were. So please, do not insult my intelligence and tell me the truth!"

"I uh...was at mmm...come here," she drags Cristina by the elbow to the end of the locker room where no one could over hear.

"Mer, I know that we are good friends, and that you are apparently having something that can only be described as a slight psychotic breakdown, but what have I said about touching me?"

"Listen, I want a straight answer, do think that it is a good idea for me and Mcdreamy to be friends?"

"THATS where you were! God Mer, seriously..."

"Anwser, its a simple yes or no question Cristina."

"NO, are kidding. Look what happened last time you got attached to him."

"This is a strictly platonic relationship Cristina," She sees Cristina's look of doubt. "I mean it, we are friends and nothing more." Even while she was saying it, she realized that it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself moreso than Cristina.

"Alright, whatever you say." At that moment Bailey bursts through the door. "Alright, Grey, glad you decided to grace us with your presence. Yang, your with Sheperd, Karev...Montgomery-Sheperd, O'Malley...you're with me. Stevens...Burke. Grey, you're in the pit. Now move!" With that they all scatter to where they were supposed to be. As Meredith passed Alex she heard him talking angerly to himself. She laughs, which Alex hears. "I've got the She-Sheperd riding my ass for all I'm worth these days and you want to laugh...thanks Grey, real nice!"

" Well, I thought you could handle a laugh or two at your expense since you seem to enjoy it SO much when something happens to us, guess I'm wrong. My bad!" Alex shoots her a look and they part ways, Alex heading to maternity, his new "hang out" in the hospital, and Meredith to a long and grueling day in the pit.


	2. Chapter 2

Meredith had just finished up with a particularly difficult patient when she heard her name called. She turned to see Derek standing there. "Dr. Sheperd," she greeted him. Derek hated it when she called him that, but in a way, it kind of turned him on. He decided to play along. "Dr. Grey. So, the Nazi stuck ya in the pit? What you do?" he asked with a sparkle in his eye.

"I was late because I was walking my dog with this friend that I have and I got here late."

"Ahhhhh, and may I just say, I saw that friend. He is very handsome."

"Ya...but I think he's gay," she shoots back. She sees Dereks face visibly change.

"No...No...No he's not, why are you ruining the game?" he asks.

"What are you doing down here Dr. Sheperd?" she says with a laugh.

"I was down here for a consult and when I was done, I saw you, so, as a friend, I thought it only appropriate to come over and say hello. So...hello."

"Hey..." she trails off, noticing that he is still not moving. "Anything else?"

"Well, yeah, sort of. I have a break and I was wondering if you would like to head up to the cafeteria for some lunch." In his mind, he was justifying his actions. 'We're friends, friends have lunch. This is NOT wrong'. Yet something still didnt feel right, but he pushed that feeling away.

Meredith heard this and thought for a minute. Lunch with a friend should not require this much thought! "Yea, ok, sure, let's have lunch."

Cristina was working on filling out the chart for a patient that she and Sheperd had when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Burke standing there, smiling.

"What are you so happy about?"

"Well, see, I just persuaded my impossibly difficult girlfriend to move in with me, then to give up her apartment. I think that personally I'm doin really well. I'm happy. And generally when people are happy, they smile."

"You're cute...real cute. Is that the only reason you came over here, to tell me that you're happy? Because you know if it is, I really have to..."

"No, I also came over here to tell you that my mother would like to meet you and she is coming up from Alabama in a week."

"WHAT! Burke, God, seriously...no uh huh...listen I..."

"Ya, I know you're busy, so I will just leave you to your charts," he says and hurries off before she can say anything. Cristina is left standing there, jaw on the ground, wondering what she ever did to offend God in such a way. Now she cant wait to play 'Whose life sucks worse' with Meredith, seeing as how she was sure she would take the cake on this one. And plus, she always likes to win.

Meredith had found a table and sat down by the time Derek had gotten his lunch. "So" he says as he sits down, "what do friends such as ourselves usually talk about over lunch?" He takes a bite of his sandwich leaving mustard on the corner of his mouth, making Meredith laugh. "What?" he asks.

"Ahh, your mouth, right here, got a little something..." he wipes it, "there you go!"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, Doc is behaving a little odd. Addison and I are going to take him to the vet when we get off from work tonight and I was wondering if you would like to go. I'm sure he's fine, it's just you know, we're doctors, we know that sometimes small things can mean something significantly big. He could use the extra support, I mean, no one likes going to the doctor," Derek finished this with his signature lopsided grin.

Meredith hesitated due solely because of the fact that she would be spending time with the Sheperds that wasnt required for work. She then remembered it wasn't about her, it was about her dog, whom she cared about. "Yes, actually, I would like to go. Thanks for telling me. So, about this vet, who is he?

"His name is Finn Dandridge. He has an excellent reputation among the animal crowd, so I thought we could try him out."

"Ya ya sure, sounds good. What time is his appointment?"

"Its at 7:00 so meet us there around 6:55." At this time, they had both finished their lunches and were getting ready to head back into the hospital. They threw out their trash and went to the elevators. They got on and no one else was there.They exchange a look, both knowing that they had a history with empty elevators. They begin to ascend to their floors, Meredith to 3 and Derek to 4. When the elevator reached 2, Derek finally spoke, "You know, I have this thing, for fairy boats i mean."

Meredith looked at him as they reached 3 and the doors began to open. "I so should have let you walk out with that mustard on your face." She says this then walks past him and out of the elevator. Before the doors can close, Addison sticks her hand in to stop the doors. "Hey"

"Hey"

"Docs appointment is still at 7 right?"

"Yep" Addison noticed how reserved he was and wondered if it had to do with Meredith who she happened to see get off this exact same elevator. She however did not want to push it.

Derek noticed how sad she looked. "So, you found any good poison oak lately?" She turns when he says this and sees him smirking at her. She can't help but laugh, or punch him in the arm.

Cristina finally found Meredith on 3 where she was standing at a nurses station.

"God I have been looking for you everywhere, you're supposed to be in the pit."

"I was, but then I had to come up here and look for a history for one of the patients. Why, whats your damage?"

"Burkes mom..." Cristina says this while pursing her lips and nodding her head.

"Yeah, Burke has a mom, congratulate him on that for me will ya, I have to go, I really need to find this history or..."

"Shut up, he says that she is coming up her next week because he wants me to her and she wants to meet me. On a level of one to ten, how screwed do you think I am?"

"Well, for normal people thats not too bad, but for you...oh dear God. Cristina, whatever you do, DONNOT be yourself, that will not get you anywhere here. I know Barney says to but, you really really shouldnt do that."

"Meredith, what am I gonna do?"

"Wait, you are asking me for help? Wow, hold up, I wanna memorize this moment, its like the apocalypse or..." sees Cristina giving her a look that would make little children cry. "OK moment over. I really dont know what you should do."

"Argh you're no help," with that Cristina storms off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the newest chapter. Hope to have another up by Thursday night. Please review!**

It was 6:45 and Meredith had just gotten out of a great surgery. She had that great post surgery high going on for her. It came crashing down however when she remembered where she had to be in ten minutes. "Damn," she thought as she ran to the locker room. As she was changing, she thought about how bad this night could go. She decided not to think about it seeing as how if she thought about it much more, she might just direct her car down the ever familiar path to Joe's instead of to the vets, where she knew she needed to be. She put on her jeans, her green shirt and left her tennis shoes on. She shook her hair out of its holder and let it flow gently around her shoulders and back. She looked in the mirror. "As always…..this is as good as it's gonna get." With that she ran to her car and followed the directions that Derek had given her. About seven minutes later, she found herself in front of a vet's practice. She got out and made her way to the door. As she got closer she saw Addison sitting there with the dog, but not Derek. "Fan-freakin-tastic, God hates me," she grumbled as she got close to Addison.

"Hey Dr. Shepherd."

"Addison, when we aren't at work, please call me Addison." She said this with a tiny smile.

"Ok, um, Addison, isn't Der…Dr. Shepherd going to be joining us?"

"Yes, he just left his pager in the car, you know, life as a surgeon. He'll be right here." Meredith nodded and proceeded to sit down cautiously a few feet from Addison. Both could sense the awkwardness of the moment. "Dr. Grey, I know we don't have the best relationship, but I was sort of hoping that we could maybe try to be friends. I just think that we work together, you and Derek are friends, and, I think we could really get along. So what do you say, worth a shot?"

Meredith sat in silence, thinking about what had just been said to her and who had said it. She knew that she had to try. As painful as it was, she knew it was the right thing to do. "Uh yeah, I would like that. Oh and, you can call me Meredith." She couldn't believe she had just said that, but she realized it had to be done. They gave timid smiles to each other and then continued to sit in pure silence until Derek appeared. Seeing Meredith, his face lit up. "Hey, you made it!"

"Said I would come didn't I? So, now, come on, let's go and get this over with." They all three filed into the waiting room. Derek went up to sign Doc in while Meredith and Addison took Doc and found seats. Meredith looked up when she saw motion on her left. In came Dr. Dandridge. One look at how attractive he was and Meredith knew she was in for a rough ride. She looked back over at Derek then at Dr. Dandridge. Her life was now the textbook definition of hell.

The vet ushered the three into an exam room. Derek was the first to speak. "I'm Derek Shepherd, this is my wife Addison Shepherd and this is Meredith Grey."

"Nice to meet you all, so, what do we have here," he asked indicating Doc. Derek dove into a long explanation. Meredith knew she was probably looking ridiculous to everybody but she didn't exactly care. She just kept staring at their new vet. Occasionally during an explanation, Dr. Dandridge would look up and catch her eye, but nothing noticeable to the other two. Derek and Addison just listened while nodding their heads. In end, it turned out that Doc had a neurological problem that could be treated by medication. After the appointment ended, Addison took Doc out to their car while Derek paid for the medication. Meredith was walking towards the door when she heard Dr, Dandridge call her. She turned. "Yes?"

"I uh….I'm sorry about your dog, I know that with your jobs, that's not exactly something you need."

"No, but he's our dog, so we'll make it."

"Good, good. Listen I was wondering, you and Dr. Sheperd aren't……" Meredith then realized what he was implying. 'If only he knew' she thought.

"NO! Dr. Sheperd and I…..well…..see, he's married, and I, I am uh…..you know, I'm fine. He's married and we're friends. All three of us. Friends. Yup, so…..and now I'm rambling, but yeah, no, we aren't….."

"O, alright. Well, I was just….curious."

"Yeah. Well, listen I have rounds early so I had better get some sleep. But thanks for everything. Doc…he means a lot to us."

"Your welcome. And don't be afraid to call if you need anything." Meredith thought she picked up on a double meaning on the last part of that but she wasn't sure so she just looked at him. Realizing what he had said, he hastily threw in "for Doc. If you need anything for Doc." He said this and started to shake his head at his own stupidity. Before Meredith turned to leave, he caught her eyes for a second and just held them. Derek had turned around just in time to catch the little moment going on between the two. He quickly ducked out the door however before either had realized that there had been a witness.

Driving home, he thought about what that look could've meant. They arrived at the trailor around 8:15 so neither wanted to go to bed. Addison went and stretched out on the bed to read while Derek sat near the window. Addison could see something was bothering him, but she just couldn't figure out what. She finally gave up and started reading her book. Derek sat staring out the window.

'What the hell is wrong with me?' he thought, 'Meredith can date, I'm fine with that. Just not our vet, because, I mean, come on, really. No, actually, I shouldn't care that it's the vet. God, what's my problem. It's just that she's freakin slept with 50 of the men in the tri-state area by now. Jesus, I forgot, she even got to George. I SHOULD NOT CARE. I chose Addison. I chose my family, my wife, the love of my life. Right? Yes, and besides, friends don't feel this way about each other dating. It will pass…..yeah, it'll pass…' Derek just sat there thinking. He finally made it to the bed to find Addison already asleep. He quietly slipped in and tried to sleep. Sadly, for Derek Shepherd, sleep never came. He was left awake, thinking only one thing. _Why?_

**So this was basically a filler chapter and to introduce the beginnings of the Finn/Meredith plotline. Next one will be better, I swear!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews! I have 8 tests in the next three days so I DON'T expect to update until Saturday at the earliest. Please enjoy and don't forget to review!**

_3 Days Later..._

Derek and Meredith have been taking their morning walks. They were friends. They laughed and talked and shared problems. Derek however held back the questions he was dying to ask her about Dr. Dandridge. Were they dating, had they slept together, was he worrying for nothing and was nothing going on? He needed to know, but he couldn't bring it up, for fear of ruining the good thing that they had going on.

Meredith noticed that Derek got fidgety sometimes and she wondered why. She however decided to forget about it because it never really stuck around, he always stopped and continued on with a different topic. As Derek was talking about a patient he had, Meredith's mind wandered over to Finn. He had called her to ask her out, how weird was that? She had told him no because she was still trying to get over someone, but that she was flattered. He had understood and left it at that. But a part of Meredith wanted to go out with him. She needed someone like Finn, she just couldn't see herself going out with someone that isn't Derek. That's when she remembered that they could never happen. She should move on and who better to move on with than a handsome vet who is very interested in her? God was she confused. She needed to talk to someone. She knew she couldn't tell Derek, because, well, the obvious reasons, but she really wanted to. He had always given great advice, and that's what she needed right, advice? But, she just couldn't do it. So, like Derek, she took her thoughts and feelings and shoved them further away in her head and continued on with their walk. They both talked and laughed for the next thirty minutes of the walk, neither of them thinking about their respective problems and questions they had for each other.

Meredith and Derek finally found their way back to the trailor. She had to get to work so she was heading off towards her car when she heard Derek call out her name behind her. She turned. "Yeah?"

"I was, uh, just wondering if, mmm," he was going to ask her, but then he just chickened out. "If you could check up on Mrs. Kramer in room 3412, she was short of breath last night and I wont be in for another 3 hours, so I thought it would be a good idea for you to look in on her." He was mentally kicking himself.

She just looked at him, waiting to see if that's all he wanted to say. "Uh, sure, ok, I can do that."

"Thanks." He spun on his heel and marched into the trailor. He heard the car pull away. He couldn't believe he had just acted like that. What was he thinking? He sat down and just began to think again, which at this point in time, was never good.

Alex was sitting on the gurney in the basement where the interns always hung out. He was thinking about Izzie. He knew that he loved her, he just could not tell her. He didn't understand what stopped him, he just couldn't. He was deep in thought when he felt someone sit down beside him. He turned his head and was looking into the eyes of none other than Izzie Stevens. He was about to say something when she started talking.

"Why do you act like that? Huh? I know you are so much more than that, but you wont let anyone see that. I like you, I really do, but I don't think I can handle much more of this. God...Alex, you just, you don't get it! To see you act like yourself and be a nice human being, that makes me happy. But then when you are around everyone else, you act like such a jackass that even I need to fight the sudden urge to beat the livin crap out of you. You have to understand that if you really do care about me like you say you do, then you need to do something to prove that, be a good guy ALL the time, show me that you are a good person. Because right now, Alex, I'm not sure which personality is actually you, and before I can be with you again, I need to know. I think I might love you, but if you don't stop this I don't know how I will feel. So, just decide which person you wanna be! Decide if i mean enough to you that you will drop this act that you have going on, which ever it is, and tell the freakin truth for once." She starts to get up but is pulled back down by a strong arm and into a kiss full of passion. It was then that Alex knew who he wanted to be.

_Burke and Cristina's apartment..._

Cristina was sitting at the kitchen table, listening to her ipod, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Burke was running around the room cleaning. Cristina felt it was pointless to clean seeing as how the place was like a freakin O.R. already. So she sat and read, occasionally looking up to see Burke dusting, sweeping, moving things around. When she couldn't stand watching him clean something that was already spotless, she threw her paper on the table and took the earphones out.

"Burke, what the hell are you so worked up over?" He just continues, ignoring Cristina's comment. "Burke, STOP! STOP! Focus here...it's clean, it's too clean," she stops and swivels her head around, observing everything, "I can see myself in basically just about everything in the room. I think you're good! Anyways, it's just your mom, why are so worried about how the place looks?"

"I'm not concerned. I'm not, it's just that she has never been here before and I want to make it look...good. I guess I am going a little over the top, but...it's my mom you know." he pauses, "alright, you don't know, but come on, cant you at least try to understand, and lend a hand, just for a minute?"

"Ok, um Burke...do you not remember the little conversation we had in my old apartment? I thought I made it perfectly clear that I, Cristina Yang, do not clean. And besides this place couldn't get any cleaner without it becoming some type of hazard, I mean do you really want your mother to end up with poisoning due to cleaning product stenches? No? Ok, didn't think so, so, just…... cool it."

"Fine, I'll keep working by myself," indignantly he spun around on his heel and walked into the bedroom. Cristina looked incredulously after him, wondering what she ever saw in this freak. She shrugged and went back to reading. Just then there was a knock at the door. She slowly made her way to the door and opened it. There stood George. "What are you doing here? You seriously don't want to be here now, Burkes kind of going through something right now and "male bonding" time with you isn't on top of his list of priorities."

"Burke asked me to come. He said he needed some help and then after we can get a beer or something." After hearing this, Cristina left the door open and walked into the bedroom, George wandering after her.

"Burke, I thought you had completed the phase where you and George have the frat bros thing going on. I mean come on! Don't tell me we're back to him livin here and stealin my coffee because, if necessary, I will hurt him. I mean HURT him." She turns to George. "No offense really, I mean, you know how I get."

George innocently shrugs, "None taken. And if it makes you feel any better, I am most definitely not staying here and as for your coffee, it wasn't that good anyways." Cristina was about to say something back when Burke spoke up.

"Thanks O'Malley, Cristina was just leaving weren't you Cristina?"

"Uh….nope hadn't planned on it."

"Cristina if you are going to be nothing but negative, I do not need you here. George is here to help and I can accomplish things faster with him here so, please, if you aren't going to help then…..go. I still have a lot of work to do."

Cristina looked around indignantly. "NO YOU DON'T! You have no work left to do. Look around! It freakin spotless. You know if it gets any cleaner, I will be forced to move out. I can't live like this, this isn't normal! And….you know what…..I need a little mess. A little mess is gooooood. Ok…you know….you're right, I cant stay here, I gotta go. Enjoy yourselves, you two FREAKSHOWS!" With that she walks to the door, walks out and for pure effect, slams it after her.

George and Burke stand there for a minute. "Cristina" they both say before setting to work.

**Ok, won't be updating for a couple days so it gives you guys a while to review. So please enjoy and let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I forgot to mention this before so here we go, you know the drill, I DO NOT own Grey's Anatomy…..I know, shocker huh? Anyways, tests are over so I'm updating again! Please review!**

Meredith was heading towards the tunnels. She needed a break, needed to think. What she saw when she got down there was something that she was not expecting, Izzie and Alex practically on top of each other making out. She cleared her throat and waited for either or both of them to notice her. Izzie quickly dismounted and walked over to Meredith. "Hey, I was uh…..you know, I needed a break and Alex…you know what, screw it. I'm back with Alex, go ahead, judge me. I know you want to."

"No, I actually don't. And sorry to interrupt, I uh didn't know that the tunnels were occupied," Meredith replied with a sly smile.

Alex got up and walked to Izzie. "Their all yours, we were almost done anyway." With that Alex and Izzie started towards the stairs, leaving only Meredith and her thoughts. This thing with Finn was kind of getting to her. She didn't want to go out with anyone but Derek, but seeing as how he wasn't even an option, and Finn was sweet, nice, and not married, she didn't see anything stopping her. Just then Cristina banged into the tunnel and slammed herself down next to Meredith on the gurney.

"What's your problem?"

"Um…YOU! You broke George, then he and Burke became best friends, and now they are cleaning incessantly, pushing each other, making things sparkle that so clearly shouldn't be. You know that I can't live in that type of environment, you know that! And on top of that, Burkes mother is coming……….and is staying with us, I forgot to tell you that little detail didn't I? So, you still want to ask me what's wrong?

"Cristina, seriously, not my fault."

"Yeah well you're here and it's easier to blame you so that's what I'm going to do, got a problem with that?"

"Whatever. Just keep your hands to yourself and I'm good." They sat there in silence. Meredith finally decided to break the silence by trying to discuss her problem. "You know how Doc had to go to the vet? Well, the vet, the guys nice, unattached and good looking, and he asked me out. I think I might say yes. I mean…."

"A VET! No Mer. No no no no no. You cannot go out with a vet. It will ultimately lower your self-esteem and my respect for you as a person. You cannot do this!"

"I need to get over Derek and what better way? I need someone who isn't like Derek, like the Anti-Derek. That's what Finn is. He's great. I'm going to say yes." After having made up her mind, she hopped off the gurney and went up to the nurses station to use the phone to call Finn and let him know that she changed her mind. After she disappeared, Cristina sat there thinking. It was just like Bailey said, the stupidity of the human race.

Meredith picked up the phone just as Derek rounded the corner down the hall. He had walked up behind her unnoticed. He was about to say something when he heard her end of the conversation. "Yeah, no, that sounds good. It sounds great actually! So I guess I will see you tonight at 7 right? Ok," she laughs at something that he says, "Ok, Finn, you do that, bye." By that time Derek had made it look like he was busy and had just come up so Meredith turned and saw him and didn't suspect a thing. "Hey, what are you doing here? I thought that you were in surgery."

"Well, I DID, but the guy died, too much damage." Derek said this trying to mask all the emotions that he was feeling. _He wasn't jealous. He wasn't. He just didn't get why she had to go out with their vet. She could've picked someone he didn't have to deal with or get acquainted with, or like for that matter, like the broken penis guy. Yeah, he decided, those days were simpler._

Meredith felt bad for a moment until she realized she had no reason to feel that way. He was married and she liked Finn. "Well, I'm sorry. It wasn't you, you did everything you could and you know that."

"Yeah, yeah I do. So, who was that?" He was trying to sound casual so that he didn't give his feelings away. He knew who it was.

"That was uh," Right then Meredith decided that she didn't want to be as bad as Derek was, hiding things and lying so she decided that she would just come out and tell him. "That was Finn. We have sort of decided to try dating."

"Oh, ok." Derek felt like someone had punched him in the gut, hearing it openly admitted like that.

"Yeah. So, anyways, I have to go, patients and everything. But I'll see you later ok?"

"Yeah ok. See ya." With that, he spun around and went back the way he came. He wasn't jealous, he wasn't._ That's right, just keep telling yourself that champ._

It was 5:30 and Derek was sitting in the cafeteria eating his "dinner" when Addison came over and sat down next to him. "Hey, what's up with you, you've been acting really weird today. I know there is something so don't try lying."

"I'm just, worried about Doc, you know, I feel bad that he's all alone most of the time, and sick. It's really nothing."

"Oh, alright." Addison knew there was more to the story, but didn't push it. "So, do you want to go to dinner tonight? We've not been out in a while so I thought that maybe we could go out, you know, into the real world, without speaking of the hospital or surgery or anything pertaining to either. Come on Derek."

"Sounds good. I get off at 6:30 so we can go then." He said this all looking less than pleased, but his logic was that if Meredith could go out and have fun and be with someone, then so could he.

"Ok, meet ya in the lobby," she got up, kissed him on the cheek and headed back towards her patient's room. Derek sat there thinking. _This is good. See, I'm not jealous, I am going out with my WIFE for dinner where we will enjoy ourselves and I will not think about what Meredith and Finn might be doing._ He was just kidding himself of course.

_Burke and Cristina's apartment_

"Did you get all the magnets on the refrigerator?"

"Yep, Dr. Burke, they're all dust free."

"Ok, ok, I think we might be done then." He looks around. "Yep, I think we're done. It looks good doesn't it?"

"It sure does."

"Thanks for coming over man, really appreciate it. And sorry about Cristina, you know as well as I do that….."

"Don't worry about it, I know, trust me, I know."

"Right. So, you want to hang out for a while. I mean we worked this hard, we need to have some fun right?"

"Yes, but I draw the line at chess. Whenever I play that, I get really bad images in my head……..no offense or anything. It was just a little more than I wanted to see." George said this referring to the time that Cristina had walked out naked while they were in the middle of chess.

"Ah, yes of course. No chess. And once again, I have to apologize on Cristina's behalf. She was having an…..off day."

"And once again, I will say, no need to explain. So let's whip those instruments out again, see if I have improved any." Burke noticeably winced at this.


	6. Chapter 6

**This is short, and I'm sorry but I have to go out to California in three days for sister's wedding and I've been working hard to get ahead in school to stay caught up and everything, so I really haven't had much time. I promise the next one will be really good, already know what's going to happen actually. Please review!**

"So, you come here much? Seems like the people know you." Finn was looking around Joes, watching all the nurses and doctors of Seattle Grace watch them.

"Uh, yeah, I come in here occasionally." Meredith almost wanted to laugh at this statement. "Little advice, tequila here is excellent." She smiles as she says this.

"Noted, thank you." The two had come here for drinks before dinner. It had been Meredith's idea, she felt the necessity for a little tequila before anything else happened, and she knew no other place to go for that other than Joe's.

"Joe, you know what I want. And Finn here will have….."

"Scotch single malt, thanks." Joe went to get them their drinks. Meredith rolled her eyes, 'that's Derek's drink……this is just fabulous'. "So, Meredith, what can you tell me about yourself?"

"Well, I'm a surgeon but you know that. Uhh…the hospital basically runs my life. I like dogs, as you can see, enjoy riding fairy boats," she earned herself a questioning look on that one, "and kickass surgeries, not the lame kind, oh, and tequila, my answer to just about everything. Ok, your turn." She was glad to have pawned it off on him now.

Addison was sitting in the lobby waiting for her husband so they could finally go out. She finally saw him slowly coming down the stairs. When he got up to her, she was already standing. "Hey, you ready?"

"Yeah, uh, sure, let's go." They walked out of the hospital. "Hey, do you mind if we go to Joe's, I just don't feel like going anywhere nice tonight."

"Yep, that's fine." The truth was that she was glad to be getting him out and about, even if it was just across the street from the hospital.

Alex and Izzie were sitting in the cafeteria having dinner. They had officially become an "item" and Alex had just wanted to put out there that this time, they most definitely didn't have a "problem". Saying this made people laugh, except for Izzie, who shot him a look and hit him, hard, in the arm, and told him to 'seriously shut up'.

"So, you want to stay at my place tonight?" They had been switching houses every other night.

"Yeah, ok." Izzie nodded while still chewing her turkey sandwich.

"Hey, do you…..maybe, would you like to…..bring some things over to keep at my place? I mean it can get pretty hard when we move around as much as we do, it only makes sense to do things like that, I mean, you know, for the convenience of the group and all." Alex was noticeably nervous, having put the suggestion out there like that.

"Alright, yeah, uh, that's smart I guess." Izzie couldn't believe that this was the same Alex who people used to refer to as Evil Spawn. She liked the new and improved Alex. He actually made her happy, made her laugh, and didn't constantly say something so cocky, arrogant, and just plain stupid that made people, and by people, we mean Izzie, hate him. They exchange glances and Izzie knew that this was it for her. She found her "person".

Meredith and Finn were sitting at the bar, backs to the door, deep in conversation about silly, random things, laughing and enjoying themselves. They didn't notice when Derek and Addison walked in. Derek led them to a table in the corner, facing the bar. He slid into the booth and that is when he noticed them. He felt this jab in his heart that only seemed to have started recently. He denied the cause however, refusing to acknowledge the fact that he so blatantly loved Meredith. He quickly shifted his gaze to his wife not wanting her to get suspicious. She was saying something, but Derek heard nothing. He saw them talking and laughing and they seemed happy. _Is it wrong that I want to go over there and punch the vet. Is it wrong that that sounded so hostile towards someone as innocent as Finn? Is it wrong that I'm thinking all this crap in my head? Yep, this is definitely not good._ He watched her smile. He missed that so much, missed being the cause of those smiles. Suddenly he couldn't stand watching this.

"Joe! Bring a round, tequila please."

"Derek, a round?" Addison looked slightly alarmed and confused.

"I've had a very long day." He knew he needed something if he was basically sitting and watching Meredith's date. He needed something. Tequila just happened to be the closest thing to him. The shots appeared in front of them and Derek just dove in. After about 10 minutes, they were all empty and Derek was sitting playing with the empty shot glasses, under the watchful eyes of Addison. While he was moving one of the glasses, it fell of the table making very large shattering sound. This got the attention of everyone in the bar, including Meredith. She looked up and gave a small gasp. There sitting not 20 feet from her, was none other than Derek Sheperd, and he was looking straight at her, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Crap," Meredith muttered. She knew that this was bad, she just didn't know how bad yet.


	7. Chapter 7

Meredith looked at Derek for what seemed like ages before words began forming in her mind. She looked to Finn. "We should probably get going, you know, we really don't want to be late for dinner." She truthfully could give a rat's ass about dinner, she just wanted to get the hell out of that bar because she didn't think that she could handle Derek, and his staring, and his apparent look of hurt and anger that can only come with a certain amount of alcohol.

"Uh, yea, ok, let's go. Hold up, I'm gonna hit the restroom really quick, I'll be back in a minute and then we can go." He was so unaware of the situation that it was painful for Meredith. As he made his way to the bathroom, she slowly got up and went over towards the Sheperd's table.

"Hello Meredith," Addison knew something was going on and it was obvious in her voice that she had a good idea of what it was.

"Hey, Dr. She, I mean Addison, hey Derek. So, what are you two doing here?"

"Well, we wanted to go out and this was just so convient that we thought it would be easier to just come here. We just needed a break is all. What about you?"

"Finn and I, we are kind of, you know, we are actually dating. Well……not dating, this is actually our first date, we're testing the waters…..seeing if it's worth going into further." She looked over and saw Derek looking at her the same way he had been since he saw them there, a look full of contempt, rage, and jealously. She was about to turn and head towards the car when she heard Derek start speaking.

"So, you've upgraded to vets? What, hairy back guy not fulfilling enough for you? I just hope you're using protection, because you know," he laughs dryly, "the STD rate in the country is rising at an alarming speed and God forbid you might catch one, that might hinder your 'hobby' just a bit don't you think. Oh, but really don't worry, they have treatment for EVERYTHING these days." Meredith stood, mouth hanging open, more shocked than angry.

"Derek!" Addison hissed and glared at him. "What the….." She was cut off by Meredith.

"Hell is your problem?" Meredith had gotten over the shock and became angry. She heard what Addison was saying and decided to jump in and take the lead. She glared at him in a way that she had never looked at anyone before. Cristina would honestly be proud. "Finn and I are trying to have a relationship, one based on more than just sex, oh, but you wouldn't know anything about that now would you? You, you don't get to judge me, you don't get to look at me, you don't even get to speak to me. You have NO right, no right, to say what you just said. I'm not the one who had an affair, and lied, and cheated, and pulled all the other crap that you did. I'm not hiding things, I am doing nothing wrong. So don't you dare sit there and call me a whore. You had your chance, you blew it. Get over it, and while your at it, stay the hell away from me. Enjoy the rest of your night." Just then Finn came back.

"You ready?"

"Yea, yea I am most definitely ready." She looked at Derek, and even though she knew it was against her better judgment, she leaned in and kissed Finn, to prove to Derek how incredibly fine she was without him.

Derek watched this, feeling his heart break. _What the hell did I just do? They're right, I am really an ass. _He was aware that what he did was probably unfixable. There are lines in life that you just don't cross, and he was pretty sure that he had just crossed one of those lines. He watched as Finn and Meredith walked out of the bar holding hands. That is when he realized, he truly made the wrong choice. He also realized he had probably just lost the woman he loves. It all became too much. His hand shot up. "Joe! Another!"

Addison looked on. She was now fully aware of what was going on. She didn't like it.

Meredith and Finn were sitting at dinner. It had been quiet for sometime. Neither had talked much after the kiss in the bar. Finally when the silence became too much to bear, Finn spoke up.

"So, that kiss. That was uh, that, wow. You care to explain what happened because I have been going over this and over this and I can't quite figure out what happened back there. I can tell that there was something between you and Sheperd, but I just can't tell what it is. So could you please explain? I'm not being nosy, I would just like to know the mess I'm getting myself into before I fully get myself into it."

"Finn…..it's so complicated. I….I can't really tell you. You wouldn't understand. There are, or actually were, circumstances that, that probably would be hard to comprehend. I don't want to scare you or anything, it's just that I'm not sure I want to tell you yet, it might be too much."

"Meredith, I've been through a lot, I can handle it, whatever it is. You can tell me."

"I had come to Seattle and was having a hard time adjusting, you know, being back to the place with all the unpleasant memories and everything. There was a mixer for the new interns at Joe's, and I decided that I needed to get out, so I went…..and met Derek. At the time he and his wife were separated because she had cheated on him back in New York with his best friend. He just took up and left and came here. We were supposed to be a one night stand, but then I went into work the next day to find that he was my boss, my boss's boss, and I couldn't really NOT spend time with him. We got close I guess you could say, we started dating, and things got sort of serious. Then his wife showed up and he……he chose her. He chose her. So, now I am here, with you, and I think that I might actually like you, which is a huge step for me. So, let's not talk about that subject anymore. But, now you know."

"Wow, um….alright. So you and he aren't still…"

"NO. He made that quite clear." Meredith was getting upset just thinking about everything that Derek had said to her earlier, getting worked up all over again.

"Ok……so…thank you. For being honest I mean. I appreciate it, and just to let you know, I think that I might actually like you too."

"Well, good, now that we have agreed, let's order shall we?" Meredith smiled, glad to have gotten off the subject. She couldn't handle talking about it anymore. It hurt her too much. The truth was that as much as she told herself that she didn't love or need Derek, she knew that that wasn't true at all. She didn't know what to do. She was confused and upset and she wanted to live up to the rep that she had been given by Alex, she wanted to get drunk, but maybe change the last part, maybe this time sleep with an appropriate man. She ordered her wine and knew what she wanted to do tonight, even if it meant she would be sorry in the morning.

**Alright, so that premiere……wow. I can't believe Derek said all that stuff to Meredith, I really liked it. Great episode…it beat out CSI, but there is no surprise there : ) Please review!**


End file.
